I was cruising www.craigslist.org this afternoon looking for some material for our "This Week on Craigslist" feature and found a wonderful little "missed connection." A lot of people who frequent Starbucks are assholes and I just happened to find one who turned to craigslist to prove it.
You can see the whole thing HERE.
The title of the "missed connection" reads: "to the A-hole who works at Starbucks - m4m"
This is what immediately caught my attention. You've got "Starbucks" and "A-hole" in the same sentence and they are the only two words they bothered to capitalize - this is going to be good. Although, I'm unsure why the poster didn't just write the whole word "asshole" out... it's craiglist - "asshole" isn't the worst thing you'll read on that website.
The body of the "missed connection" reads:
"Yeah, you know what dude, you may love being awesome, but 1) you know you were a dick this morning and 2) Yeah no shit, newpapers arent free! Did I try to steal it? NO! Did I take it outside to read it? NO! I merely grabbed one to read while I ate breakfast. Do you not 'get' Starbucks? Thats what people do. They go to Starbucks, get a cup of joe and read the paper! I can pretty much guarantee you I am not the only who takes a paper just to read. I always fold it up again and put it back. I bet you lose more money from people putting unsold papers in the recycle bin. Actually Ive always thought you were pretty much an ass who sucks at customer service, but today confirmed it. Yeah Im done with your store. Lighten the hell up, A-hole. "
So, I really wanted to think going into this post that the guy who works at Starbucks is really the asshole. Turns out that it's the Starbucks customer whose the real asshole. Let's break this down.
I'm not sure the best way to insult someone who made you mad is to call them out by saying "you may love being awesome, but..." That's kind of like admitting that you think they're pretty great and you're mad because they're aware of it. What kind of idiot thinks a Starbucks barista is "awesome?" The kind of idiot who'd call him out on craiglist, I guess.
The Starbucks customer goes on to make himself look like a theiving asshole and the barista, who "loves being awesome," like a decent guy trying to do his job.
Nobody in their right mind thinks it's okay to take a brand new New York Times off of the shelf, rifle through it with their greasy breakfast fingers and then put it back without paying for it. Even if the customer folds it nicely, nobody is going to buy that paper later - it's obvious someone has been through it.
Needless to say, the product that the barista was hoping to sell for a profit was off of the sales floor and out of reach of potential customers for the entire time this asshole was "eating breakfast." What a jackass.
The worst part is that he's one of those customers who thinks he can define what the Starbucks "experience" is because he goes there all of the time. If you believe this guy's perception of how Starbucks works, you can take anything you want off of the sales floor and use it as long as you don't go outside with it. Want your vanilla latte in a nice Starbucks mug, but don't want to pay for the mug? Just put your coffee in it and enjoy it - just don't leave the store with it. If you're lucky, they'll wash it for you so you use it again the next day.
I partly blame the freeloader attitude and atmosphere on Starbucks. They could have ended this crap years ago, but caved into the leeches every singe time. If they want to know how the cycle of mooching ends, just ask any of the folks in the retail bookstore business.