It's a shame that this has to be written and distributed. It really doesn't make me feel good about the current state of the gene pool. Maybe I can improve things here with a quick "how to" on an every day activity people should already be good at.
The first rule of Smartrip card usage is simple - naked is best, don't put the magnetic reader to the test. Take it out of your wallet or your plastic crap holder hanging around your neck. Nobody has time to see you fail at being cool because you're too lazy to remove your card from your wallet. It's the metro - it's the antithesis of cool. Cool people drive to work. Uncool people are forced to travel underground in dark tunnels so as not to ruin the day for cool people. Got it? No? I wrote about this phenomenon extensively HERE.
When approaching the turnstile with the two half Japanese fans you need to have your metro card in your right hand. The card reader is always on your right. This isn't the NBA and you don't get style points for doing a quick crossover as you approach the turnstile.
You should be walking with a purpose - not running and not sauntering. Do not change your pace as you approach the turnstile. If you follow my instructions here you will never have to.
As you get within a few steps of the turnstile you need to have your Smartrip card in your right hand (we've talked about this already) and it needs to be positioned between your thumb and the rest of your fingers. Pretend it's a $20 you're palming to hand to a bouncer or your dealer.
With the Smartrip card properly positioned in your right hand and while you're roughly two steps away, you need to extend your arm in front of you as far as it can go. You may bend forward at the waist to increase your forward reach if you would like. Just make sure you aren't slowing your walking speed as you do this.
Aim your hand toward the illuminated button with the purpose of your Smartrip card bearing right hand beating your body and feet to that location by at least a step. With your palm facing down, quickly remove your thumb from the bottom of the card and land your hand directly on top of the illuminated button. This will start the process of opening the two half Japanese fans.
As you know, there's a slight delay between the swiping and the opening. The time it takes the card reader to tell the motor to move the fans is precisely equal to your natural purposeful walking pace plus the length of your outstretched arm. It's a miracle of mathematics - one of the very few in the metro system.
Your hand with the Smartrip card will swipe the illuminated button at a speed that will let your torso catch up. You will eventually pass your hand with your body as the Japanese fans open because you have maintained your pace, but let your hand linger long enough to guarantee your Smartrip card has been read. As you clear the Japanese fans your Smartrip clad hand will be behind you, but rapidly catching up.
Think of the entire motion like bowling - first your let your hand lead your body and then you slowly let your body catch up as your hand moves backward and then everything realigns in a swift forward motion. It's beautiful.
If you have done all of this correctly you will not have had to slow down one bit. You will not be that asshole who doesn't think to swipe their Smartrip card until they are literally standing in the turnstile. You will be that courteous metro rider who maintains the pace of those who have some place to be.