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05/14/2012

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Too Funny!

Wow, you're kind of a self-possessed asshole. Is this the attitude you approach all facets of your life? Chill out and learn to live with the fact that the world doesn't exist for your edification. Your wife will eventually tire of you and your kids with think that you are a rage filled jerk; if they haven't already. I've seen it happen many times and you'd better find a way to fix it or you're going to be a bitter old twit. And no, your writing style doesn't come off as edgy like Hunter Thompson or P.J. O'Rourke. You're just angry.

...and control your child. 20 month old children don't know how to control themselves, so you have to occasionally pick them up to restrain them. The second time I read this I figured out that not only are you angry, but you're a tool and a douche as well.

Dave in Kensington,

three comments on a blog that is obviously full of hyperbolic comedy - really? I think you're the one with anger issues. Hell, if I lived in Kensington I'd be and uptight asshole too.

Remember - the second you take time out of your day to let someone know that they're an opinionated asshole - YOU'VE BECOME ONE YOURSELF.

Be careful crossing the street - we wouldn't want a bus to make the world a better place at your expense.

Sounds like you were the asshole in this situation with your out of control kid ruining everyone's morning.

Tool.

P.S. If you can't control the one child you do have, Please stop breeding!

You are a "Starbucks person" so you must hate yourself as much as you hate your own spawn.

What's it like to be so self-righteous?

C - BRAD - Dave in Kensington (I know you're the same person - nothing anonymous about the internet these days),

what's it feel like to be so self-righteous? You know that feeling when you walk down to the metro platform where an almost empty train is waiting with doors open to take you to your destination - almost better than that.

Sorry, I'm not Brad or C. Believe it or not, not everyone thinks that you're the "people's poet" like you, apparently, do. I don't need to hide behind a second personae to voice my opinion. You act as though you have some super secret web tool ( which you are) that allows you to see who's who on the internet. So it's pretty obvious you're a delusional paranoid as well. Kensington is nice, we drove the douchebags out decades ago.

Your self-described hyperbolic comedy is neither; obviously. You're a douche and you can't accept that you're not funny; hiding your hate behind a thin veil of supposed humor. My three observations about your "piece" are few compared to the remaining spite fueled ramblings. You make cruel judgments about people who don't meet your standard. Sweaty old guy, Hippy Dipshit, people who wait for their drinks in front of you; you obviously think you're better than them. Your "I'm cooler than you" style of prose is used throughout your writings. Apparently, you belittle others to hide your own self-loathing.

I'm not self-righteous, I have plenty of faults. I just don't ridicule others to make me feel good about myself.

Daveinakensington,

You've used the word "douche" or a variation of it more than once today - your arguments have been ruled "invalid" by the International Commission on Internet Arguing (ICIA). The commission demands you get a hobby that doesn't include trolling blogs immediately or be sentenced to your mother's basement for eternity or the termination of the Simpsons series - which ever comes first.

My blog just happens to cost me $14.95 a month and it has a handy little feature where it tracks what IPs are used for comments. There are several million reasons they do this, but the most important one is spam. I just happen to use it to catch guys like you trying to increase the size of your one man army. I also have magical internet powers - I just don't like to brag about them.

You're so funny. You think you know things....

I tried to use a thesaurus to be more creative, but every time I put the term Brad Kanus in the seard field, the word "douce" and "douchebag" kept popping up. And that old "mother's basement" saw is so 1990s. You need to find better anecdotal terms.

Okay, I've put the question to the people of DC via Craigslist; where you also post. Is Brad K Anus (Beltway Critic) funny or just a sad, angry, hateful little boy who's lost in the big, bad city of Washington, DC?

By the way, you do use the word "hate" throughout your blog quite a lot.

I can't wait to find out!

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/rnr/3017638529.html

Dave in Kensington,

Dude you're having a very public breakdown here in the comments section of my blog and it went from funny and sad to just sad. And I mean sad like the guy sitting in a puddle of his own urine outside Lucky Bar explaining to everyone who walks by that you should be let back in because you have "rights."

Sleep it off my friend. You can quit me if you try.

Brad, your description of a toddler is one I will use henceforth. The massengil stockholders can chill out

drew,

I'm honored to have captured the age in a way you'll remember.

brad- I stopped going to the Starbucks in Tysons Corner because of all the "Daves in shithole Kensington." Your story hits right at home. I must be a douchebag and have anger issues too! The assholes who crowd the barist are fucking joke!

There is the "just-got-done-excercising-so-let-me-come-to-starbucks-still-smelling-like-a-rooster-humping-a-duck" guy in line.
There is the "way-too-big-for-this-skirt-but-sort-of-cute-brunnette-haired-chic-who-I-might-do-after-a-few-beers-if-she-would-only-stop-staring-at-the-floor" chic."
There is also the "my-stay-at-home-life-is-so-boring-that-I-must-bring-my-not-school-age-brood-to-Starbucks-because-all-the-other-loser-moms-are-there-while-my-husband-is-in-Colombia-screwing-hookers" mom.
Or how about the gaggle of "high-school-oriented-who-are-late-to-their-Sidwell Friends-or-Bishop Ireton-classes-who-talk-incessantly-about-the-latest-BMW-or-Porsche-that-Muffy-got-for-her-17th-birthday" girls.

This is why I now get my Starbucks coffee when I run out of Mayorga coffee at the house from Starbucks of Leesburg, VA. You should visit this one. No crowding, no sloppy athletic people, no gaggles, no soccer mom meetings, etc.... Just somewhat normal people.

Matt,

Awesome - that's the kind of starbucks I can enjoy... or at least tolerate.

I also think you're right-on with the different sets of annoying customers and the hilarious, but true descriptions you provide!

came for the blog post, stayed for the Dave/C/Brad shit show.

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