Every Monday we provide a list of things we think you should do this week. Without goals there would be no failure and thus nothing for us to make fun of.
1. Pay attention to social media and see how your "friends" have used the 72 hours since the tragedy in Colorado to find a way to connect themselves to it. Attention whores are out en masse today.
2. Relish in the fact that Penn State is now way shittier at football than your alma mater... at least statistically speaking.
3. Try Capital Bike Share.
4. Does it feel like recess already?
5. Watch out for a "this week on craigslist" - I promise. Hell, might even be today.
6. And please send pictures of your pole violators to firstname.lastname@example.org.