Do you know the kind of people I'm talking about here? Are you one of them? Have no idea what I'm talking about? Let me clarify the issue for all of you.
I'm talking about people who get on the metro within the DC city limits and get off one stop later. The geographical restriction is simple - the stops are closer once you enter the city and most of them are easily walkable station to station. Outside the city the stops tend be farther apart and much harder to conveniently walk between.
Got it? Good.
These assholes get on the metro at Farragut West and get off at McPherson Square. It's a three block, five minute walk between the two stations and these dipshits can't pull it off. Instead, they enter the metro system, waste 15 minutes getting to the platform, waiting for a train, riding the train and then standing in line to leave the station. It's the laziest, dumbest thing you'll witness in DC and that's saying a lot with all these damn tourists running around.
First of all, you gotta be an asshole if you're not smart enough to know that you can waddle your happy ass faster stop to stop in most cases than entering the metro system and riding the same distance. You're also a lazy fatass, which I can say because I'm a gigantic fatass myself. However, I walk the three blocks instead of getting on the metro because I'm aware of how ignorant it is to ride for one stop within the city.
And since these people are assholes, you know how their metro manners are - terrible. They're usually the ones who fight their way onto the train before anyone has gotten off. It makes sense, though. If they're unaware of how moronic it is to ride the train one stop, they're obviously not capable of comprehending the common sense rule of letting people get off the train before they attempt to enter the train. And they wouldn't be the purest form of asshole if they didn't push to the center of the train and fight for a seat for their two minute ride to the next stop. And that always ends with them having to push everyone down to try and get out. In their little tiny brains it makes sense to get as far away from the door as possible even though they're getting off at the next stop.
What about the complete waste of money? Look, I'm not good with money. I spend money on the dumbest shit you can imagine. Besides both of us being Homo sapiens, it's the only thing my wife and I have in common. We speak with a level of experience when it comes to wasting money that few people on Earth have and we both agree that paying to ride the metro for three blocks is the ultimate stupid waste of money. But, that doesn't matter to the one stop rider because we've already shown them to but ignorant, lazy and unaware - just add "bad with money" to the line of negatives on their life report card.
I wish that there was some kind of alarm that would sound when these people went to swipe their Smartrip card to leave. Maybe a female voice that just repeats "dumbass" several times while a red light flashes. At the least it would shame them and at best it would alert others to their lack of mental strength, laziness and inability to assess their own idiotic actions. Best case scenario it keeps people form handing these asshole sharp objects. However, I know WMATA won't do this because they like ripping you off for a three block ride, but it would be very cool.
And before you lose your mind in the comments section below because I just called you out for being an asshole and you're angry about it - I'm not talking about days where the weather is bad. I'm talking about all the assholes who do it on perfectly nice days. Nobody faults anyone for hiding from the rain in the metro system. You can now comment accordingly.